Of Marriage and Single Life by Francis Bacon: Summary, Line by Line Explanation, and Theme
Summary
“Of Marriage and Single Life” by Francis Bacon is a short essay where the author explores the advantages and disadvantages of married and single life. He starts the essay by highlighting a drawback of married life. Bacon says familial responsibilities can hold a man back from starting grand projects. A married man remains busy in fulfilling the needs of his family.
On the flip side, unmarried men are free and can dedicate themselves more fully to the well-being of society than married men. History shows us that many achievements have been made by the unmarried. However, some unmarried individuals are self-centered and are not concerned about others.
Single men want to be bachelor because they value freedom above all. They can be friends or masters or servants, but they can not be an ideal citizen.
While marriage has certain restrictions, it makes people humane and responsible. However, single people can be charitable. A wife contributes to a man’s life as a mistress in youth, companion in middle age, and caregiver in old age. Marriage offers a support system that a single life cannot provide.
In discussing the ideal timing of marriage, Bacon mentions that both young men and older men should not marry.
Through the discussion of the benefits and difficulties of being married or single, the essay suggests how these choices impact an individual.
Line By Line Explanation and Analysis
The Limitations of Married Life
A married man with a wife and children is a prisoner of luck. His familial responsibilities and commitments stop him from pursuing “great enterprise” (Bacon 81), either virtuous or harmful.
Enterprise refers to a big dream, which could be a new business or starting any major life-changing project. It can be virtuous or mischievous.
Virtue refers to noble and morally admirable action that contributes to the betterment of oneself and others. On the flip side, mischief means actions that are immoral or risky for one’s family.
This confinement has both negative and positive aspects. A married man cannot invest money and time for any noble purpose. He must prioritize their welfare, security, and needs above his desires.
Therefore, his married life confines him to the wheel of fortune. Conversely, his family duties also stop him from taking high risks that might affect the family financially or mentally. His family might save him from getting ruined.
So, after considering both sides, we can state married life is neither a limitation nor an advantage.
I think Bacon offers a generalized view of marital responsibility. Many married individuals, including those with children, have undertaken calculated risks and achieved significant success. Their families have been a source of support.
Today, with dual-income families and an equal sharing of domestic responsibilities, marriage might not affect someone’s chance to take on big projects. However, during the Elizabethan period, it was not usual for women to be the breadwinners.
Service to Public Life
Unlike married men, single men have historically been behind humanity’s noteworthy achievements. They have shared their talent and resources with the world and served humanity.
For instance, successful people Nikola Tesla, A. P. J. Abdul Kalam, Homi J. Bhabha et al. led a single lifestyle. Their bachelorhood allowed them to focus on their work that has benefited the society.
However, this statement of Bacon is a half-truth. Success is not entirely the domain of the unmarried. Figures like Srinivasa Ramanujan and Nambi Narayanan prove that marital status cannot limit success.
These examples above show that success does not depend on marital status. Dedication, a support system, and effective work-life balance management are among the factors that lead to this result.
The Responsibilities of Married Men
Married men remain busy building their family’s future. Their promises about “dearest pledges” (81) often occupy their mind.
The phrase “dearest pledges” (81) might refer to their valuable commitment to their children’s future. They are bound to ensure a better, secure future for their children.
Unlike them, single men can dedicate their lives to noble causes. Though Bacon praises the single lifestyle, he acknowledges that not all single men care for the well-being of their fellow human beings. They are self-centered and show little concern for future generations.
It shows the difference in mindset between those dedicated to societal betterment and those who are not.
Single Life as a Means of Prosperity
Some unmarried individuals consider having a wife and children as “bills of charges” (81). For them, family is only a financial liability. Some other greedy rich are prideful for not having kids, for they think their absence makes them seem wealthier.
They might have heard people saying, “That person is really rich” (81) and someone else adding, “Yes, but he has to spend a lot on his kids,” (81) as if the kids make him less rich.
Bacon marks a societal value that gives importance to material success above everything. This mindset sees having children as a barrier to increasing wealth.
Such a view ignores all the diverse, non-material benefits a family can offer, such as emotional and physical support.
The Benefit of Single Life: Freedom
The biggest reason for being single is liberty. Compared to single men, they enjoy greater independence. However, a single life is not for everyone. It is ideal for those who can please themselves and have a carefree outlook.
Single men value their freedom to the extent that they consider “their girdles and garters, to be bonds and shackles” (81). Girdles and garters are items of clothing used to hold up stockings.
It emphasizes how even a minor obligation or social restriction, which is symbolized by girdles and garters, makes them feel like actual physical tools of imprisonment: bonds and shackles.
Several psychological factors contribute to why some individuals dislike confinement. These factors range from personality characteristics and cultural influences to experiences. For example, individuals who experienced excessive control in their upbringing or previous relationships may be sensitive to any boundary.
The Drawback of Single Men
An unmarried man can be a best friend, master, or worker. An unmarried man has more time than a married man to invest in friendships and professional settings.
However, he cannot be a loyal citizen or reliable member of society because of his unpredictable nature. People who run away from societal responsibilities are usually single.
It implies unmarried men can not be uniformly reliable across all domains of their lives. He may not be equally committed to other responsibilities, such as following societal norms that may not align with his interests.
Therefore, the distinction lies in the personal choice and priority of commitments. In friendships and professional settings, commitments may be based more on interests and mutual benefits.
For whom Single Life is Ideal
Bacon discusses the suitability of a single life for various professions, including churchmen, judges, magistrates, and soldiers, and how marital status impacts their roles and responsibilities.
Single life suits religious leaders well because it allows them to dedicate themselves to their duties without distractions. This job requires dedication and plenty of time. Unlike them, a married religious figure might struggle to balance his duty and family responsibilities.
In the judiciary, marital status seems less relevant to job performance. But, if judges are corrupted, they will be much worse than husbands having a spouse who might distract them.
These servants prioritize private interests over justice, making them five times worse than an influenced husband.
Bacon’s view of a confined married man stems from the idea that married life distracts a man from focusing on notable public work. This perspective is outdated as it overlooks that both partners can be financially supportive of each other.
Family plays a crucial role in a soldier’s life in the military. Therefore, some generals charge the soldiers often up by reminding the image of soldiers’ families.
The prospect of uniting family after war makes them alive even in distressful situations. Their family connection reminds them of why they are fighting. It can increase their dedication and courage.
Conversely, generals implant hatred for marriage in Turkish soldiers. As a result, they have no emotional reason to fight without injury. It possibly makes them less effective compared to those with families.
Bacon observes that the undervaluing of marriage could make soldiers feel less motivated.
The impact of family ties on a soldier’s performance is just one aspect of motivators. Ideological commitment, nationalism, and personal honor are other motivators that can influence effectiveness in combat situations.
Moreover, the absence of a family does not make a soldier less motivated. Sometimes, it could even free a soldier from personal worries and make him more focused on their military objectives.
Why is Marriage Important?
According to Bacon, “Certainly wife and children are a kind of discipline of humanity” (82). Familial responsibilities teach individuals human values such as love, patience, and empathy.
Family life is a school of human values that shapes individuals into compassionate, lovable, and responsible members of society.
However, Bacon also acknowledges that single individuals can possess these virtues. They can be more charitable than married men because of their fewer expenses.
Many single men and women, including religious gurus, dedicate themselves to humanitarian causes. They often exhibit qualities like humanity in them.
Despite these virtues, some single individuals can be cruel. Similarly, not all married people show compassion and empathy. Thus, this suggests that virtues and flaws are not completely determined by marital status.
The absence of family and lack of experience of empathy, tenderness, and compassion in their lives might make them harsh.
Their hardhearted nature makes them suited for roles that require strict judgment, like that of an inquisitor. The term “inquisitor” (82) suggests a role involving rigorous inspection, where kindness in the method is not required.
Bacon notes that a serious person with good conduct is reliable and often makes him a loving spouse. Bacon refers to Ulysses as an example. In Cicero’s On the Orator, I, 44, it mentions Ulysses prefers “vetulam suam prætulit immortalitati” (82).
Goddess Calypso promised Ulysses immortality, but he has to choose between her and his wife. Instead of accepting the offer, he returns to Ithaca to meet his aging wife, Penelope (Pitcher 82n10).
His choice exemplifies that trustworthiness is foundational to a loving and lasting marriage.
Similarly, a chaste woman values her loyalty and considers her merit as a reason to be proud and bold. She will remain loyal and committed if she realizes her husband is wise.
In contrast, if her husband is jealous without cause, she thinks her husband does not have faith in her virtues. It can make her lose interest in him and eventually harm the relationship.
Bacon comments on the roles of a woman in different stages of a man’s life: “Wives are young men’s mistresses; companions for middle age; and old men’s nurses” (82).
In the days of youth, a wife is a source of pleasure for a man. Like a man-mistress relationship, passion is the most vital aspect of their relationship.
Emotional companionship becomes essential during middle age. A woman becomes a companion to share in his happiness and sadness.
In the last stage of life, a woman serves her husband.
This statement reflects the patriarchal mindset of the era, where a man’s needs and the stages of his life determine a woman’s role.
This view differs from the modern concept of marriage. In contemporary society, the values of marriage center on support, care, mutual needs, and respect between partners.
When Should One Marry?
A man has the autonomy to decide when to marry, though opinions on the best timing for marriage can vary. Regarding this matter, Bacon cites Thales of Miletus, who answered this question.
The sage of Greece said, “A young man not yet, an older man not at all” (82). He rejected marriage by telling his mother he was too young to marry. Late, when Thales of Miletus faced the same question, he said he was too old to marry (Pitcher 82n12).
It advises that a young man who cannot control his desires is not eligible for marriage. Marriage is not just about physical companionship, but also about building a friendship.
On this topic, Friedrich Nietzsche says in Human, All Too Human, “The best friend will probably get the best wife, because a good marriage is based on talent for friendship” (Nietzsche, 306).
Therefore, a young man should wait to mature emotionally before reaching a position where he can understand himself and his partner.
Similarly, an aged man whose youth has passed is also not an ideal candidate for marriage. He might have maturity, but he will lack the energy to keep the spark alive in a relationship. The complexities and responsibilities of marriage might not be worth undertaking after a certain age.
Bacon observes that bad husbands often have good wives, and there are two reasons.
First, if a husband rarely shows affection, any small act of kindness can become incredibly precious to his wife. Despite having a negative impression of her husband, she will cherish these moments of kindness.
Second, some wives might be prideful in their patience in difficult situations. Her pride in enduring a cruel husband could be a factor in why they continue the relationship.
Moreover, if such a husband is their choice, despite the warnings of their friends, they are often determined to justify their decision.
This determination can make them tolerate their husbands’ misbehavior more than they otherwise would. It suggests they are committed to their choice, possibly to avoid accepting they were wrong.
Theme
The theme of “Of Marriage and Single Life” is the benefits and demerits of both married and single lifestyles. Francis Bacon, in his essays like “Of Marriage and Single Life”, “Of Truth”, “Of Friendship”, “Of Studies” etc., balances the benefits of each subject with its drawbacks.
This essay also dives into the advantages and disadvantages of both single and married life.
The first benefit of single life is the freedom it grants for public service and personal advancement. Without familial duties, an individual can dedicate himself to serving humanity and engaging in noble pursuits.
On the other hand, family responsibilities impose conditions on taking risks and investing personally in new experiences. One has to prioritize the commitments to the family. So, a married person may find it challenging to invest time and effort into societal contributions or take risks that could impact the security of his family.
As argued above, this perspective oversimplifies the complexities of individual circumstances. This perspective suggests a single man has more time and freedom to advance his career.
However, it is not true that married individuals cannot achieve remarkable progress and make significant contributions to society.
Another benefit of being single is the freedom it brings. A single person has more independence compared to a married man.
For example, an unmarried person has the liberty to pursue activities that bring them joy without worrying about the impact on their family. Such an individual does not like any form of restriction that might limit their independence.
While a married person can enjoy similar freedoms, they often face restrictions or plans to fulfill their family responsibilities.
Financial stability is another area where single life frequently has an advantage. Without the expense of a family, a single individual may find it easier to manage his finances. In contrast, married life can have financial challenges.
Although it may be true in the Elizabethan era, today, women earn as much as men. Many working couples share financial responsibilities equally, which can mitigate some of the economic challenges. However, not all singles or couples are financially well-off.
In terms of social roles, single individuals can easily fit into roles as friends, masters, or servants, but they might not face the same level of responsibility as a married person does. Being married often means developing a sense of responsibility, as it requires considering the welfare of a family.
Being married comes with its own set of teachings. It teaches one to be humane and caring. While a single man might often be generous, he can also be harsh. It could be because they do not experience the care and affection that family life offers, which naturally softens a person’s character.
So, married people are more compassionate and better at socializing than those who are single. This difference highlights how the experience of family life can influence one’s emotional and social development.
Another benefit of married life is having a companion. Married individuals have a partner to share joy, sadness, success, and failure.
A single man might not always have someone close to share his deepest thoughts, feelings, or ideas. This lack of companionship can lead to loneliness. Therefore, a single life suits those who are self-satisfied and naturally humorous.
In conclusion, while some observations of Bacon might hold some truth in the context of his time, they do not universally apply. The ability to be charitable, kind, cruel, or self-disciplined does not depend on whether someone is married or unmarried.
Instead, it reflects an individual’s experiences and choices. Being single is not better than being married, and vice versa. While marriage may work well for some, it may not work for others.
